VANITY AWAITS A CRUEL FATE

We pay so much money for security to keep them out, why dont we just

pay them to fuck off?

it started as an unrecognizable whimper, but has now turned into an opera.

sometimes

 the greatest punishment was just to face each day.

and

sometimes a poem is beautiful 

but sometimes 

its dead.

dont take this the wrong way, but i hate you,

and it happens in about the time my mind moves from neutral to numb

opening and closing

buying and selling

breathe, 

I AM AFFECTIONATELY JEALOUS

baby crickets, red juicy apples with salt.

he said that he understood that i loved so many, 

because i couldnt help loving everything,

though it had now made it impossible for him to love me.

the falls of zenith on a nelson friday

the stab of the knife you know and use everyday, does it hurt more?

you can learn alot about a nation by what they do to their natives.

so you, yes you, king fish swimming around in ya lil fuckin bowl

oh yes, ive been broke

(and cheap) but i know 

that

vanity awaits a cruel fate.

theres no watchdog so bark @ yourself

young girls and their diaries

lie asleep, 

surrounded by things that dont

violent and peaceful, we echo nature

sowing seeds outside ourselves

heaven worlds turn into cancerous growths

shiny soft vulvas of comfortable lives, 

bliss festers in cancers

SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE

the one minute movie about marshmallow mice.....

so what have you been feeding them lately? 

they just dont taste the same today'

I love this quote, i wish it was mine

'things without pretensions, satisfied to be merely themslves, 

sufficient in their suchness, 

not acting a part, not trying insanely 2 go it alone, 

in luciferian defiance of the grace of god.

Its the incompatibility between mans egotism, 

the divine humility of purity and 

mans self aggravated separateness 

to the infinity of god.'

(you can replace the word 'god' with whatever word makes you feel more comfortable...) 

oh nobly born let thy mind not be distracted.

Which leads me to believe that sin is not your master, and you shouldnt let your faith rest on the persuasiveness of humans...

and true, look how fickle i am ,

pointing my fickle finger @ you

its holy and its hunting

sometimes i get lost when i turn around

This firecracker mouth.

Your material things are temporary 

and they will be pryed from your tightly clenched fists

and jesus/mohammed/yahweh is the ultimate dangling carrot

deny the endowment of the parent or remain a slave to fear

there is no turning back from here

90% survival + 10% paranoia

F-STOP

be fickle be formless be forever be formidable

the fearless the fortunate the fumbling the fervent and the friendless

the fuel in you feeds the fire in me

I AM THE FOE.

the untruth and the bed a source of constant inspiration.

lurking relentless, 

fates unfortunate foes, 

be with me

no one has to know

miss conceal miss conduct miss cellaneous

miss ogeny miss construe miss guide miss read miss out

miss spentyouth miss chevious miss ile to boot

we have to change with the times 

but we must never change our hearts

all i feel is a little lightheadedness and lot of empty pocketedness

TERRIBLE TERRIBLE THINGS

Slower, slower, please, I cant keep up.

Ill have to retreat to the darkness and withdrawal of my night watch.

Okay, so you cant run as fast as me?

but you can dance?.

Come and dance with me, he smiled.

He circled

Silly
she forgot that only sharks and vultures circle. 

Maybe I wont come back this time,

She silently hoped

(well at least she made it look like she was fervent and fearlessly hoping 
but she really never meant a word)

Now what the fuck was that about?

the tide is rising higher, with each cold exhalation and every cold clink of the coin.

Strike curiosity into action

Rise

Arise

Throw your religious crutches into the fire

We have nothing more to restrain our desire. 

WE GROW LIKE VINES ON THE WALL OF OUR FUTURE

OUR LIVES HAVE BECOME SO ENTWINED, 

IT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE TO PART THEM.

WITH 

EVERY

PASSING

DAY

WE GROW TIGHTER

AND WITH EVERY

PASSING 

DAY

WE SQUEEZE THE LIFE A LITTLE MORE OUT OF EACH OTHER

BIRTHS AND FUNERALS

She had a lot to say about our inexplicable drawing to life and death but thought it rather like tempting fate by dedicating a whole chapter to these wholey momentarily unwelcome topics.

(plainly, she wished for neither death nor a baby)

and wished to just leave it at that.

AUTUMN FALLS IN LOVE

he didn’t fill a hole, like so many before him had.

like human poly-filla.

you can even make jokes about it.

i know 

you know what i mean.

the scales were weighing in heavy, the time was running out, no amount of money saved could pay the fine.

ever.

Not that you would even want to pay it. 

The weathers changing.

The long sleepy amber afternoons.

morphing yellow gold red orange brown to navy grey silver purple.

Oops and

Violet and indigo

Sorry, they felt left out.

.we had a meeting.

I dont think he trusted her.

but then why would he, she hardly trusted herself.

although lately she was greatly pleased and surprised by the progress she was making.

they both seemed to deserve it.

she was in love?.

she was without a doubt, definately, besottedly and allegorically in love.

it sounds a bit wanky to say but, this ran deep, like ancient legend deep.

she could recall and predict the 

future 

and the past.

She saw her old spirit and could even smell the market place in his eyes, when they dreamed they would press their heads together and become perfect symmetry, 

sometimes 

they would even dream about the same things

He cast a fine spidery web over her and she knitted it into a soft hoodie for the winter.

It was all true

even her aunt had said.

but her father,

 well now that is a different slice of racoon pie.

he, well he, he didnt even notice a thing, well, except for the missing cutlery, but we all kind of expected that.

RED SHOES

Delusional?

Just the fact you think you could be delusional, makes you and your delusions real.

To think is to make real.

He taught her that, well, 

he said

thoughts are things.

He

.he

.he said

He

he

She

could go on forever.

she had hoped, 

he

would join her.

She wore red shoes that day.

All the african schoolchildren sitting on the pavement, whistled and shouted as she walked past.

Even they knew she was up to something - something they wished they could be a part of,

even they knew.

THE WHISPER SHE COULDNT IGNORE

Three times that day she had called its name, 

THREE TIMES

Yes, yes she knew that now she would have to live alone.

A biography?

I don't think so.

Wandering and wavering, our roots lie within this ground, they wait patiently for us to

unite our earthly legs with them again, and once again become one with the earth in our death and decay. 

A marvellous fortune, 

i couldn't have planned it better myself.

roots, roots, oh where are my roots.

roots, roots, i long for my roots.

She always found it crazy, impossible, the way objects always seem to hide themselves,

the way objects pretend to sit still?

Bit you know that you don't and then you find them again and go 'aaah' but

secretly you KNOW that its not where you left it.

Also its consistency never let up, she could practically never put something down and find it again.

Scissors, pencils, sharpeners, pins......you heard me. 

DUSK = REHAB

'No, no, thank you very much Mr Moretti! 

Yeh everythings fine. 

oh that, oh its nothing, 

wait till you see what happened to my friend Jester.

Uh okay i gotta go and thanks again for giving it to me in fifties'

She always thought it better to linger with the dusk, to breathe in 

the blue-grey opium, 

the smudgy blue black air that opens the stage for night.

An ancients new day. 

The ever restless, changing of positions, 

transition 

positions.

She realised this was nearly rehab time, 

she was always getting drunk and stoned on dusk.

Then ever so quickly a sharp shard shaft of paranoid stung her, actually it more like

bit her.

Damn, it even left teeth marks.

Rose room spray, can it save the day?

The eternal question. 

JEMIMA AND THE FLAMMABLE MATERIALS

Jemima had found for herself a lover, 

she prayed that he would not burst into flame and scatter and disintegrate,

like those

who had gone before.

this was the one she had been hoping for, this was the one.

the notice read:

'NO FLAMMABLE LIQUIDS OR MATERIALS ALLOWED'

This one was going to last, even if she had to see to it herself.

She said it out aloud, 

to an imaginary audience, 

well imaginary or not, who can say?

It was an audience and she put on a magnificent performance  

 

WE WILL SEE

She, 

fell like an ash teardrop, 

she burst and scattered at the same time when she hit the ground. 

There were too many people, with too many sides to take.

Too many things to say and too many tides to get swept past on the rapids of the sidetides.

It,

seemed

magical

I assure you,

it

wasnt.

The harsh fluorescent light of day.

The constantly being on trial, will bring out - oh but - only your best qualities.

She

grinned and turned to hide her mouth.

We will see.

INDEED

We will see.